Meditation 101 from a Restless Mind

Two years ago my life shifted. I met a man and his family who I have come to love as my own. In blending this family with my own incredible family, I have learned so many new things and  had so many new experiences. I'm eternally grateful to all of them. They have guided me as I shifted my path and my purpose.

I was what you would have called responsibly irresponsible. I got up everyday and went to work to a job I came to loathe, but bringing in money was the responsible thing. I acted and did things that I thought were necessary because its how society would expect. I fell in line and tried to please everyone... What I didn't realize was that I was behaving incredibly irresponsibly for the betterment of myself and my soul.

I had no idea who I truly was anymore because I was so busy trying to be what everyone else needed me to be. In doing so I was cheating them and myself out of the gifts, the love and the laughter that are mine to give when I am true to myself and true to my soul.

It's not something that happened overnight. It's been a lengthy process and I'm nowhere near finished finding myself and my voice. So what I am offering is a baby step. My first baby step in taking back my identity was meditation. I was not capable of much else when I was feeling stretched so thin. So many places to go, things to do, people to see... 

I made a commitment to myself and worked a weekly "appointment" into my schedule. My first few attempts were laughable. I sat there alone in the dark with soothing music on trying to let go. I found my brain on hyper drive, thinking of all the things I should be doing instead. Then every little noise I heard outside the music I started picking apart. Not good. 5 minutes felt like 5 hours. I felt like a failure, and thought maybe I just can't do it. I wasn't quite ready to give up.

I read articles, and found that nothing was really ringing true and still was having trouble letting go. I tried going outside, still didn't work. My mind was far too restless. When I expressed my frustration, I was told to look at guided meditation. There are tons of YouTube videos out there.

Now, this can get time consuming, there are hundreds if not thousands of videos out there. Different voices, different directions, different tones, different music. There are going to be videos that do not work for you, but do not give up.

I chose a video that was about 25 minutes long with the sound of waves crashing on the shore and a soft and soothing voice. I sat on my bed, in soft light and let them guide me. I was able to let my frenzied brain focus on what the guide was saying and before I knew it the 25 minutes were up.

So what is my advice? There is no wrong way to meditate. My sister listens to AC/DC and it works just fine for her. The important thing is if at first you don't succeed, keep trying!

Sometimes a restless mind needs to focus on something before it can focus on nothing.

Optimally Yours,

Laura
xoxo
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